MY DAUGHTER’S BAS-MITZVAH – SETTING THE TONE FOR A LIFETIME OF COMMITMENT

 

My daughter actually observed her bas-mitzvah in two parts. The first took place on her Hebrew birth date – the twenty-fifth of Av – when, while attending a two-week camp in Israel, she celebrated her entrance into Jewish adulthood and religious responsibility together with the many members of her family living in Israel who came to join her. At this gathering, Zelda spoke eloquently about the deeper concepts behind her bas-mitzvah and how they impact on her personal aspirations for her future. Focusing on the rabbinical teaching that - just as the attendees at a boy’s bris express their wishes that the newborn should grow to accomplishments in Torah, so too should the parents’ friends wish the same for a newborn girl - Zelda explained that a Jewish female can “grow to accomplish in Torah” in two ways: as a married woman, she should send her husband and children to learn Torah, thereby earning for herself an actual portion of their Divine reward for this sacred endeavor; and in general, she should study Chassidus because it strengthens a bas Yisroel’s love and fear of Hashem. (Parenthetically, my daughter noted that the Lubavitcher Rebbe told this last point during a private discussion with the Belzer Rebbe in Israel.) In this regard, Zelda particularly emphasized the role that both sets of her grandparents have played in influencing her with their lifetime of mesiras nefesh for Torah learning and living.

 

Basking in the acclaim and encouragement she was receiving from all of her relatives at her bas-mitzvah, my daughter went on to explain how – as the full-fledged Jewish adult she was now becoming – she expected to fulfill each aspect of the classic blessing that states a newborn Jewish child should merit to succeed in Torah, marriage and good deeds. “I plan to learn Torasa Shel Moshiach,” Zelda proudly proclaimed, “and be an active participant in the chuppah that joins Knesses Yisrael with Hashem. I also expect to be constantly engaged in maasim tovim, because every good deed brings Moshiach closer; as the Rambam teaches us, every single good deed that a Jew performs has the possibility of tipping the scale and generating the Final Redemption.”

 

As Zelda is named after her late great-grandmother (my mother’s mother), it was most appropriate that my mother should publicly address the bas-mitzvah girl at the family gathering. “The woman you were named after had two outstanding character traits,” my mother informed my daughter. “She was totally devoted to everything she did – she always gave 100% of her attention and energy to any task that she decided to undertake. Furthermore, she placed the highest value on maintaining her friendships, which she readily accomplished by constantly acting as a true and loyal friend to those who came into her life and shared her goals.” Zelda beamed as my mother drew a memorable portrait of her namesake and enabled her to profoundly connect with such a personal source of lifelong inspiration.

The second – and more portentous – part of my daughter’s bas-mitzvah took place in the succeeding month of Elul, when she participated with her class in several projects designed to elicit the qualities of commitment to Hashem and His People that are inherent components of every bas Yisroel.

 

The overall theme of Zelda’s school-based bas-mitzvah commemoration was the classic concept of Jewish fidelity: “Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li” – “I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me.” Choosing the three most essential “connections” in their lives, Zelda and her classmates played a game and drew pictures, both of which expressed their special personal relationship with HaKodosh Boruch Hu, the Lubavitcher Rebbe zt”l and their fellow Jews (bein adam l’chaveiro). Taking the theme of commitment to a practical level, my daughter and her peers then designed unique tote bags, emblazoning each bag with a photograph of the main shul currently serving the Kishinev Jewish community. The budding teenagers were preparing these bags for the purpose of being shipped to my in-laws, who – in their capacity of overseeing and ensuring the welfare of that kehillah in the former Soviet Union – were planning to fill the bags with vital food supplies and deliver them to low-income Jewish residents of the area. With the ultimate usage of these tote bags uppermost in their minds, my daughter and her classmates utilized their creative talents to symbolize their recognition that a bas-mitzvah is truly defined as the starting point of a life that will center around personal responsibility and a deep-seated commitment to helping others.

 

While there are undoubtedly many ways to mark a special occasion such as a bas-mitzvah, my daughter Zelda and her friends brought out their unique inner beliefs by selecting the theme of “Hayom Yom” for their projects – the idea that every day serves as a unique opportunity to perform good deeds that will show one’s love for, and enhance the lives of, our fellow Jews, and in the process will enhance the lives of those who perform those deeds as well.

 

Zelda and her classmates took special delight in the appearance of their seventh-grade teacher, Mrs. Bubby Jacobson, who came and spoke to them in honor of the occasion. Mrs. Jacobson thrilled the girls with her innate fire of Chassidus and her boundless energy, adding an extra level of warmth to this once-in-a-lifetime event.